Maybe I found myself; Maybe I’m just hungry…


     It’s Tuesday afternoon and something has changed; much like the radiant blue skies which is now a dark gray blanket, pregnant with rain. 

     A new wisdom rests upon my head like a crown on a king, and now that I think about it, I hate it all: the bland wallpapers, the recycled air coughed up by tired air condition vents, the boring charts of the human anatomy perching on white walls, the outdated magazines on the bureau drawer, the Gothic wall-clock. Most especially the Gothic wall-clock whose presence in a hospital is an irony in itself.

     I finally understand that which leaps at me from the gloom of my subconscious, like the soft blue flame of a lit candle held out on a cold winter night- close enough that I almost feel its warmth, yet far enough that I still can not see beyond my nose.

     I finally unearth the germ- the answer to a question that has haunted me for the better part of twenty-two years, buried deep within the vast, encrypted space that is my mind, cruelly suppressed by the mundane nature of my existence. 

     What do I truly want from Life?


     I want to see the world- travel across historic cities, visit the birthplaces of the greatest works of art, meet interesting people, eat weird food, intoxicate on foreign wine, maybe even fall in love with someone who speaks in a language I don’t even understand.

     I want to live, see new things, experience new life.

     I want to go out there, where happiness resides. And I want to embrace it.



The Valentine’s Day Massacre II: The Monster Within..


Thunder rumbles in the distance. You stand there, looking out the window of the cheap motel room.
The rain is pouring hard but the sound is completely drowned by the drumming beats of your heart.
Lightning sparks in the heavens, illuminating the dark room for a moment, revealing the body of a woman; flabby, laying on the floor –in a pool of dark colored liquid, legs sprawled in an awkward position
The room is in total disorder, so is your world!
How had you become this maniac?
Your wandering mind pulls you to…
February 13th … (14 Hours Earlier)
In the same position, looking out a window, this time in the living room of your tiny apartment. The rising sun casts a beautiful orange glow in the sky. For a moment, you hang there, admiring the artistry of nature.
The electric kettle whistles in the kitchen, pulling you back to your living room.
You make yourself a hot latte, pick up a newspaper from the dining table and settle back in the living room, munching on a couple slices of sandwich.
Each sip of the latte; Edgy. Exquisite.
You chuckle at an article that says “Valentine in 24hours, break up now and save your bank account!” Nearly spilling coffee on your neatly pressed shirt.
You step out of your house –to work. But first, a detour to make sure everything is perfect for tomorrow.
A quick stop at a wine shop, a bouquet store and a 3-star hotel ensures you’re ready for tomorrow.
Your phone buzzes in your pants –the boo is calling.
You answer the call, talking all through the ride to work. There’s an uncomfortable feeling creeping up on you but you shake it off.
You look around but no one seems to pay you attention. People just whiz past as though you weren’t there and the ones that do, can only manage a weird smirk on their faces.
“Stupid fucks” you say. “How could they not notice this dashing, strikingly good looking demigod walking in their mist?” you utter in irritation.

The rest of the day flies by pretty quickly, and you’re back in your apartment, about to grab a shut-eye because tomorrow, oh tomorrow is going to be one helluva day– with a lot of rolling, tumbling and humping. Uh huh! A wide grin stretches across your face.
You’re going to need all your energy but just as you’re about to close your eyes, you get this weird text.
You jump out of bed and rush out of your apartment…
Your heart is racing.
“How could it be?”…
A few passersby give you a strange look, then it hits you– you aren’t wearing any clothes!
You dash back into your apartment, shove on your slacks and a shirt, then rush out again…
Half a mile into your ‘voyage’, you see the blinking neon lights of a garage store. “Joey’s Tool House” it reads.
You rush in there, screaming until you find a chainsaw and just like that, you’re out of there again, running with more determination.
A hapless Joey just stands there, unsure of what his next move should be after you screamed something about sawing off his genitals if he made a wrong move or thought about calling the cops.
A chainsaw in hand, you make your way to the destination, taking a moment to catch your breath.
Its a 3 star hotel but there’s no way they’ll willingly let you in without a not-so-gentle suggestion of psychotherapy and maybe solitary confinement in a prison somewhere in columbia where foreigners are eaten for lunch and their organs saved for desert.
so you go around back, ‘in good faith’, peeking through windows but you don’t see anyone of interest and just as you’re about to give up, a familiar sound from two storeys up nearly stops your heart in an instant.
The soft moans that describe a humping and romping session in progress sends rage flushing through your veins. You’ve never felt so angry.
You look around and you’re in luck, perhaps hades himself has picked a special interest in your cause. A rope lays fallow on the ground. You gingerly wind it around the chainsaw, sling it over your shoulder, then spiderman your way up to an open balcony attached to the room where the sound was coming from.
The cool night breeze sends chills down your spine. The couple haven’t noticed you yet, they are too engrossed –which is perfect because you have the ultimate surprise party planned…
You take a step in … someone’s butt is about to be meet cold, rip-teethed metal

The Valentine’s Day Massacre I


February 14th…

You just stand there, rooted to the spot, completely dazed. Your mind is doing a 220, in a million places at the same time.

The “Cling!” sound of metal hitting the floor brings your aloof mind back to the present.

The details of the events from the last 5 hours are sketchy. There had been an argument … that’s all you can remember

You look down at the 7″ cooking knife, laying on the ground beside your feet, stained red with bl–

No it can’t be blood! Your brain struggles to process the live pictures your eyes are feeding it.

Smeared on your shirt and palms, is the same red liquid –thick and oozing.

Your eyes nearly pop from their socket in sheer horror.

The distant sirens grow louder. You dart to the window; the dazzling blue and red lights edge closer. Your brain may think its the boss, feeling like a king in its palace –your rock hard cranium– but its your youth body that’s going to suffer the full brunt of a prison sentence.

Adrenaline and impulse kick in, your legs make a break for it, even though your brain screams at your body to stay put.

A dark alley, a change of clothes, 4 fences and a train ride later; you’re holed up in a cheap motel room, in a different city, with little to no cash, trying to replay the events from earlier.

“What the hell just happened?” you ask yourself, running your hands through your hair. A shower always helps you think, you decide you’re going to do just that but just as you’re about to strip and step into the shower, you hear a knock on the door.

You freeze!

“Would you like to buy some food?” a female voice calls from the other side of the door. As though on cue, your stomach growls. You can swear your intestines are nibbling away on the lines of your stomach.

You find spare change in your purse and shout for her to enter. You’re pretty sure the food is going to kill you but its a chance you are willing to take. You’re too hungry to think straight at the moment.

A chubby, skimpy clad woman wheels in a cart with food items and a couple of things to drink.

Something tells you she has more salient products on sale, things other than the food she’d just wheeled in, pronounced by the way she sways her flabby body from side to side motioning to her sagging breasts and stressing the ‘vegetables’ in each food item she describes.

Weed, Sex and Alcohol … Typical.

In modern times, turning down either of the unholy trinity in a cheap motel room was suspicious, but turning down all three was enough reason for them to call the cops.

The look on your face says you aren’t interested in anything other than the food. She notices and instinctively starts to reach for her phone. You counter by turning on the 14″ inch television in the shabby room to portray some state of normalcy and of course, sanity.

“I’d like a…” You start, but the woman stops swaying. She looks like she has just seen casper, only an unfriendly version. You trace her line of sight to the television and how about that?– you’re on the news.

The hotel room you’d been in; confetti and candles scattered around for a romantic touch, the police cordoning strays, and two bodies in the middle of the room– white cloth draped over them.

“The Valentine Day Massacre”.. Is the gruesome headline superimposed on the more horrific pictures on the screen.

At the top corner of the screen is a passport of you which makes you look like the lead star in the new series –the return of shrek.

You turn back to the chubby woman but you can’t tell which horrifies her most: the fact that the news says you massacred 15 people or the fact that you look like that in a passport.

There’s a brief stare down, then almost simultaneously, both your gazes lock on a cooking knife on the cart.

Time stands still…

If she gets out, you’re screwed. There’s only one option; one you’re not sure you’re willing to take … Yet …

…find out what happens next in the mini series

Queen of Hearts…



I call her the queen of hearts…the finest piece of heavenly arts

She has been the love of my life for as long as I can remember. Its everything about her that I love and can’t get over.

Even as a 9yr old kid, I thought she was the most beautiful being walking the face of the earth, perhaps the Lord had intended for her to be an Angel, anything other than a mortal!

I’d spent my early pre-teen years gearing up to talk to her, trying to figure out the right words to say to her, trying to impress her and get her to notice me.

Whenever she smiled, my heart would skip a beat. It was the second most beautiful thing I’d seen after her eyes.

Her eyes could make the sun, the moon and the stars jealous. They could light up the entire universe and still have enough light to guide me through my darkest days.

Over a decade and change have passed but I still feel the same way I did back then.

I still remember the first words we said to each other…

How our eyes and souls connected. I could see the future…my future, and she was right there in it.

The quest to steal her heart forever as she’d done mine is all I’ve ever known. A cause I’ll gladly risk my life for.

She’s the queen of my heart and the love of my life; the one I’ll always cherish irrespective of whatever happens in the future.

If I’m lucky enough, we’ll grow old together in a big house with a white picket fence and beautiful grandkids running all over the place.

But I’m content, knowing that I’ve loved and have been loved by the most incredible woman in all of our generation.

And that, is what makes me smile every time I close my eyes and go to bed.


There’ll never be any man luckier…

Tic Tok…What would you do? II



2am in the morning…you wake up, drenched in sweat! You’d left your windows open after the announcement on cable news that the black out would last for a few more days!


The room is pitch black…the only trace of lighting is from the far distant moon engulfed by threatening misty clouds.


Somehow you manage to make out the silhouette of a human in the corner; leaning against the wall, arching the back, as if planning to get down on all fours.


You blink more than a thousand times to be sure your mind isn’t just playing tricks on you!


You can see the menacing eyes staring at you, so you blink a thousand more times!


Its still there, those cold eyes that scream doom; trained right at you, peeking into your very soul, probing and judging!


You reach for your glasses, but its not on the bedside drawer, the usual spot for about a decade! Who could have moved it?? today of all days!


Desperate, you reach for your bedside lamp to turn it on! You have to see that its just your mind playing tricks on you. it has to be, for your sake, it just has to be. The other case scenario is simply unthinkable!


You manage to find the rope-switch. You thug it so hard anyone could be forgiven for thinking you were auditioning for a part in the world strongest man series!



Nothing happens…


…Clark! Clark!! Clark!!! You thug harder and faster…still, nothing happens


“Why isn’t the damn thing working?” your mind screams at your brain for an immediate explanation! Then the dumbass remembers there is a nationwide blackout!


Those pair of cold blue eyes start getting closer to you. You can tell by the way they increase in size with each passing second and also by the gentle thuds of footsteps approaching!


You brace yourself for the worst; whatever it is, you tell yourself you aren’t going down without a fight!


Something shiny appears for less than a second and sends chill running down your spine!



“Oh God no” you let out a small cry! This isn’t a movie! Whatever this creature is, it has fangs that looks like they could chew through concrete without as much as a scratch!


Cold wind pushes through the curtains and chills the bids of sweat on your face!


“This is it. This is what last moments feel like” you say!


A flash of lightning reveals your worst nightmare and stops your heart for a moment!

Shiny white fangs, dripping with sticky saliva! Paws so large you imagine it standing on top of you, crushing your throat while the beast shreds your skin to pieces!


The beast climbs on your bed and stands directly on top of you…for the first time,you see its complete form.


Standing at just about 4ft tall, its the scariest thing you’ve ever seen. Its breath so hot you can swear it burned the hair on your skin.


You swallow hard, your entire life flashes before you, you manage to smile as you savor your last moments…


The beast hesitates for a moment and gives you the window of opportunity for one last cause of action….


If it was you…..what would you do?

Tic Tok..what would do??


Picture this…

Wednesday, April 23rd 2012, 5:00am

You wake up on the right side of the bed. For some reason you’re excited about work today. There’s nothing interesting about work, you’re never tired of complaining to anyone unfortunate enough to stick around and listen. But today, it’s different.

You jump out of bed, do the 2 step, hmm your favorite song and head for the shower. What could be the source of this unusual excitement? Maybe it’s the prospect of getting down with the attractive new employee in the office or maybe it’s the promotion…whatever it is, you’re convinced you love it.

You get down to your usual routine; clean up, eat breakfast and catch the morning headlines before you get dressed.

You only dress in front of a mirror on Sundays when you absolutely have to look good but today, you pick out your favorite suit, dress up in front of the mirror and go “damn, I look good”

You absolutely hate public transport and prefer to drive to work every day but you’re in the mood to try something different, so you drop your car keys and decide, public transport it is…


You’re in the bus, it’s everything you hate but you don’t seem to mind. Weird enough, it’s a little funny seeing the whole drama going on.

Headset on, you put your iPod on shuffle and your favorite song comes on. WOW! This day couldn’t get any better, you think.

Just then, an old man making his way to the back seat, smiles at you and says something. You can’t make out what he said but from what you managed to pick out from the movement of his lips, it looked like he said “if …you…be here”

It makes absolutely no sense, so you conclude he’s crazy. Too many senile old people in this part of town you say to yourself. A few minutes later, you start to feel really uneasy, like someone was staring at you, so you turn back only to find everyone in the bus staring straight at you and then almost simultaneously flash you an evil grin.

Is everyone who uses public transport weird or just crazy??…you think as you slowly turn around only to find an old woman missing all her front teeth standing directly in front of you, staring straight into your eye like she’s trying to peek into your soul. You can feel her breath and if you move even a millimeter forward, you’ll end up kissing her.

What the f*** is going on?? You mutter under your breath…suddenly you don’t like today anymore. What is it? You absolutely hate your job, there was no attractive new employee or a promotion…hell, you don’t even own a car!


A kid walks up to you. You hadn’t noticed him earlier but there’s something familiar about him. You have absolutely no idea where he came from. Why wasn’t he in school? You ask yourself.  Maybe he was on holiday. Then it hit you, you had seen this same kid in the papers some weeks ago…He’d been run over by a car on his way to school. Why was he here? you ask yourself again, shouldn’t he be dead???

He smiles politely at you and the words he utters next nearly stops your heart in an instant!

Then you completely make sense of what the old man had said earlier.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t be here”…

The kid tells you everything you did earlier in the day but the only things you pick out are “you have just 2 hours to live”…..

What would you do????

Stuck On You


“I don’t think I can do this anymore”, she said as she turned away and ran, fighting back a pool of tears. She had struggled to avoid eye contact, it was killing her and i could tell she had been crying. I knew eventually it’ll come to this, I was sure I was prepared to handle it when it finally did but this was nothing liked what I’d imagined…Instead…

My heart skipped a beat! It became a whole lot harder to breathe, and everywhere suddenly became chilly. It felt like pellets of ice were clustering, forming a solid ice box around my heart…And then, it shattered!

I staggered and reached for support, my legs were struggling to support my own weight. The world was spinning recklessly, coming to an end…my end. I literally couldn’t live without her. I stood there helpless, watching her leave until my vision got blurry.

Tears? …What the hell was going on? I hadn’t cried since grade school! This was just a fling, wasn’t it? I was rich and famous, this was supposed to be just another day at the “office”, but why on earth was I feeling this way? Something wasn’t right; perhaps I had malaria and needed to see a doctor or maybe that was just my brain’s pathetic excuse to help my mind deal with what was going on, what the science people called coping mechanisms kicking in before I had a serious meltdown.

I stood there for a moment trying to make sense of it all. I knew the truth deep down in my guts but I dared not think about it. I had hurt her in every way possible; slept with her best friend, even hit on her sister but still, she forgave me. She had given up her dreams for me and our “relationship”, convinced I was “the one” but I took her love for granted, even laughed and called her a fool with my friends at the bar.

Then it hit me; she was no fool! She saw right through me, she saw me for whom I really was, knew my exact intentions but still stuck with me hoping one day I would love her just as much as she did me. She was the only one that laughed at my terrible jokes, didn’t care about my flaws or anything else in the world as long as she had me. She believed in me, in us. It was starting to make sense now…and I knew exactly what I had to do!

I ran after her, knowing all the things I wanted to say! I was going to hold her, pull her hair away from her beautiful face, wipe her tears and tell her I had been a complete idiot and was sorry, that she was my everything, that her eyes shone like stars and her smile could rule the world, that she was my light and the only thing I needed to pull through my darkest days. Most importantly, tell her I was deeply, hopelessly and insanely in love with her.

I smiled as tears continued to roll down my cheeks. What started as a random fling and a mission to get in her pants, had developed into something I only thought was possible in the movies. I started to run faster now, but what I saw across the street stopped me dead in my tracks.

“No! No!! God, please NO!!!” I screamed! drawing the attentions of a few onlookers, even a few paramedics stopped to stare at me. I slowly made my way to the scene. There had been a horrifying accident and I prayed my Kate was okay, even though I could see her right there on the ground…lying completely still.

I sat at her grave that Saturday, as I usually did every week. I’d sit there for long hours and cry! I’d spent the last 40 years of my life living in complete regret with the same 3 questions on my mind…“WHAT IF I’d been there for her all along?…WHAT IF I hadn’t let her go the day she’d been hit by a drunk driver who hadn’t seen her crossing the road?”

I’d donated my wealth to multiple charities after the accident and lived a modest life. There was no way I was going to enjoy life without her.

WHAT IF “WE” were still alive? was the last and most painful of the 3 questions that haunted me. We’d have grown old together in a big house with beautiful kids. More tears rolled down my cheeks as I got up to leave the cemetery. I’ll never know for sure, as far as I was concerned, my life ended the day Kate died.





You know how in the movies they build time machines and travel throughout different points in history? yeah I know, you wish you had one of those too. I mean who wouldn’t?…Those friends we wish we’d never met, those lovers we wish we never had, and those choices we made we wish we could take back…all that, we could change with just the push of a button. I think It’s only fair we had such a device, after all, we are only human and we make mistakes each and every single day. It’s just how we are hardwired.

Just what will you do if you could actually control time? Now, I’ve got you thinking, haven‘t i? The possibilities are endless. Personally, If I could control time, first thing I’d do is go into the future, cram all the answers and questions to any test or exam I’m about to write, go back to the present day and ace them. Excellent grades without the need or having to study, now that’s just Heaven!

Thinking deep, we could really change the entire course of history. We could travel back in time and change the events leading to the 1st and 2nd world war, sound warnings and evacuate people who lost their lives in natural disasters, save our loved ones who died in terrible auto crashes…we could do a lot more than you and I can imagine right now. Once again, it’s an endless list. It’ll be a happy world…or so it would seem.

But, there’s a huge problem; if we all could control time, it’ll be an ideal world. The concept of reality, the only thing that keeps us human, sane and in perspective would be lost forever. We’d go back and forth in time so much, nothing will make sense anymore. Our destinies are all connected; changing history to suit you could change someone else’s live for worse and unless we reached a compromise every now and then, we’d have to fight each other for control…and inevitably, world war 3 would be born. We’d stop two past wars from happening but start a modern warfare with deadlier weapons and much higher stakes; the survival of humanity.

I know you’ll suggest creating one general government and giving them the ultimate control over time but we’d run the risk of having them use it for their own personal gain. I’m not paranoid but I don’t trust anyone around that kind of power. Hell, I don’t even trust myself, so a complete stranger I don’t know from jack stands NOT a chance.

All in all, a time machine only exists in the movies and it’s going to stay that way for the rest of time. That is unless you manage to build one, which in my humble opinion is entirely impossible for a million and fifty reasons I won’t be talking about.

Best advices this author can give though, live your life to the fullest. Deal with the consequences of your actions. And remember, you only live once!